Apr 16, 20221 min read

Blame-Shifting

This is another favorite tool of the narcissist. Your narcissistic mother will never take responsibility for her actions. Instead, she will blame you. A narcissist can find some way that an event is your fault even if you weren’t there.

Perhaps you said something to your mother that caused her to be distracted and that’s why she made a mistake at work. Narcissists are experts at finding even the smallest link between a mistake that occurred and some action you took that makes it your fault.

Narcissists aren’t able to take responsibility for their mistakes because that will destroy their own false self-image they created long ago. They infused that image with grandiose ideas of superiority, and to take responsibility for a mistake would undermine those ideas.

That’s why they need a scapegoat and a child is a perfect target. Unfortunately for you, being blamed constantly for every little thing decimates your self-esteem. It has far-reaching effects even into adulthood when you might have problems finding or keeping a job. It also causes problems with your relationships, and in fact, your low self-esteem might even cause you to seek out a narcissistic romantic partner. They are, in effect, the devil you know.