Hiding a Crazy Mixed Mood

I’ve written before about what a mixed mood feels like. Mixed moods are hell. Mixed moods are crazy. Most people with bipolar disorder will tell you they are the worst type of mood. You take the worst of depression and the worst of mania (or hypomania), and you shove them with spikes into your brain. Then your sanity is flung around like a rag doll. That’s a mixed mood. It feels like I’ve been forced into a centrifuge, and now I’m being ripped apart molecule by molecule. And as I kneel on my couch, desperately trying to keep bits of me from flinging off into space, one thing becomes clear: you’d never know this was the case if I didn’t tell you.

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