The 13th Step

Yesterday, I had plans to go to a movie with my mom, as she had asked me the day before. However, when I brought it up, she said she didn't want to go, which dashed my hopes of having a nice conversation afterwards and going to dinner with a gift card I had. Not surprised, she was working on shit for my dying father.   I decided to take a nap since I had been up since 4 am dealing with a coyote issue. Later, I got up and decided to make meatloaf with some meat that was starting to turn brown. When it was ready, my mom joined me to eat and started talking about an upcoming potluck she was attending for Al-Anon. I tried to tell her about a documentary I watched called "The 13th Step," but she interrupted me to talk about AA.  I didn't know that The 13th Step referred to an unofficial part of AA where veterans make sexual advances on new members. I tried to explain that the documentary was more like the "Blackfish" of AA, but she kept insisting on her interpretation. I got frustrated because I couldn't find the plotline online, and I mentioned that the documentary focused on court-ordered AA meetings and how they could be exploited, similar to what was portrayed in "Breaking Bad." She got upset and insisted that such issues were with NA, not AA. I argued that it's all connected to what's wrong within AA. She stormed off to her room, ranting about finding drugs anywhere and if you want to hang out with druggies, then you will. I feel like my mom is completely clueless about the people she meets at these meetings, and it makes me wonder about how being involved in something like AA can feel a bit like being in a cult. She's probably oblivious to so many things around her. After all the crazy stuff that's happened to me, that's all I seem to notice—kind of like when watch a play and find myself paying more attention to what's happening backstage than to the actual show.  While you might believe AA is a safe space to recover from addiction, it’s possible you might be wrong, but she would never see it that way, or care to listen.

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