Jan 16, 20232 min read

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~Maya Angelou

I remember first hearing these words from Oprah years ago.. I heard them. I just didn’t follow them. Hence, I brought myself a whole lot of painful lessons and needless suffering because I always wanted to give people a second chance, and a third, and a fourth … You get the picture.

I was the guy who always saw the “potential” in people. The person they “could” be, with a little love and nurturing from yours truly. I considered myself to be one of the most loving, loyal, and big-hearted people out there. And besides, there were very few things I truly wanted that I went after and didn’t get.

I suffered many disappointments and even more heartbreaks because of this, both in friendships and romantic relationships.

I expected people to change just because I thought they should be or feel a certain way. But at that point in my life, I hadn’t yet learned that everyone is on their own path, and sometimes their soul just isn’t in alignment with yours.

When I fell for some guy and had it made up in my mind that he was “it,” I made a lot of excuses for his behavior, which was never in alignment with what I was looking for. Well-meaning friends would warn me in the beginning: “He doesn’t sound like a good match for you. His behavior seems a little sketchy.” Did I listen?

No. My ego was way too big. Sure, I saw the behavior. I even saw the red flags. But I thought I was “different.” I was so special that I felt I could change that person… just by being wonderful, amazing me.

NOTE TO SELF: When people show you who they are, believe them the first time!