Jan 15, 20231 min read

Why do narcissists hurt the people who genuinely care so much about them?

I'm no expert on the topic but I have concluded a couple things from my experience. If the narc was using a fake persona to get you to like them, they can't see your care as genuine. You care for the mask they put on for you. I look at it like an actor being adored for the character they played in a movie. The flattery and attention feel great. They even feel deserving since they played the hell out of their role. But in the end, you're just a fan that liked a character. You don't know or like the real them. So it's meaningless to them on a deep level.

Another conclusion I've drawn is that they can't respect your love because they hate themselves. So if you love them, especially after the mask came off, they devalue you because you should want better for yourself than the shallow, disloyal, abusive, low life loser they know they are. So your care and love make you weak and stupid to be honest. Ironically, the abuse is because they despise you for being better than them. Your very existence is a constant reminder of their inherent lack. I'm driving myself crazy even trying to explain this because it makes no sense to non-disordered people like us.