Wicked

Wicked has been dominating my thoughts lately, thanks to my tendency to relate everything to a movie or play. I remember when my friend Janice gifted me the soundtrack; initially, I hated  it. She gave it to me because she knew of my love for Oz, but little did I know it would grow to become one of my favorite shows. Perhaps it's a sign that I'm prepared to embrace my wicked side.  Initially, I pondered whether I was more like Glinda or Elphaba, but now I'm starting to see similarities with the Wizard as well.  Outwardly, I try to be good-natured, like Glinda, to cover up my uncertainties and wounds with a false appearance of confidence so that others will like me and want to be around me. Elphaba, with her fierce independence and struggle to remain true to herself, though no one understood her or found it in their nature to pass a fair judgment on her, go down to represent me in that way. But at the same time, I also relate to the Wizard in another way—that of a façade-builder where everyone believes in it. It reflects my tendency not to build a persona that would mask my true self, where I project an image of confidence and control but hide my fears and vulnerabilities. These interwoven characters then build a web of my inner world: the desire for acceptance, the fight for authenticity, and the careful web of illusion spun to traverse this world, which often does not understand me.

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